The first is a Grand Mom. She is your elder. She loves you but you are sure she loves your kids more than she loves you. This is your mom, mother in-law, church mom, aunt or older sister. For you - she becomes an anchor for how you will be as a mom. This mom helps you carry the weight of being a new mom. She does not mind changing diapers and will offer to take the kids for a walk to allow you to get much needed rest - because she is very wise. For your kids - she gives them a sense of love and connection to an older generation. For them they will cherish time with someone who loves them as their parents do.
Second, a Friend Mom is a mom who is in a similar situation as you. If you are married with two kids, she is also married with two kids. For you - time with her becomes a judgment free zone where you can share your thoughts (good or bad) about being Married with Children. Conversations with her make you realize how normal the things that you thought were bizarre are. With her, your discussion topics can range from diapers to designer bags. For your kids - her children are their playmates.
The third is the Not Mom. She is your fun, carefree childless friend. She reminds you of the fun things you liked to do before the kids arrived. For you - she challenges you to find time to put yourself first. She encourages you to put on a pair of heels and go to brunch without the kids. She keeps you connected to the inner you by bringing out your interest and passions that may have been dormant. For your kids - she is the fun energetic Auntie who can spoil them endlessly by exposing them to new adventures. She also gives them a mom who is balanced and enjoying life.
The fourth is the Newer Mom. Whether it is 2 weeks or 20 years this mom has less time under her belt as a mom than you. She is someone who reaches out to you with questions about what to expect as a parent. For you - she builds your confidence in what you are doing as a mom. She reminds you that you survived the stage she is in with her child. She challenges you to offer thoughtful advice that you yourself take to heart. For your kids - they benefit from having a mom who is more aware of the reasons behind the choices you make as a parent.
The final friend is Dad not Mom. He is their father. For you - he offers an opportunity to share the load of parenting. With him, you can freely discuss your hopes and dreams for the future. He will stay up all night checking temperatures with you if your little one has a fever or dash to the store at 3am to pick up diapers. For your kids – he gives them someone other than you that they can trust and believe in for all their needs.
I am grateful to have several people in these categories. Do you have these 5 friends that your kids need you to have? Comment below.